Mother's Day without my mom

Last year on Mother's Day I gave my mom a stepping stone that I had made, she loved it so much that she displayed it proudly in the front yard. This year, I only had memories of my sweet, loving mom. I never would have thought that I would be spending a Mother's Day without my mom so soon in my life. It's very hard for me to let go and know that she is in the best place ever.  Sometimes I get caught up in my own "woe is me" moments and I forget how wonderful it is that she is with our Creator. Can't we have the best of both worlds? Some day... some day.

I think about her often and I always imagine what she would be doing or saying at any given time. Sometimes it brings huge smiles to my face and other times it leaves me heartbroken.

I try really hard to keep her memory alive with Alivia. We talk about her often and we always mention that we miss Grandma Bekki.  I like to think that Alivia will always remember her, she was Grandmas pride and joy! Alivia was so spoiled by Grandma, it wasn't even funny! They could play outside with each other all day long! Bubbles, bike rides, and park visits were their favorite activities among many others. I just know that Weston would have been just as special to her if she would have met him.

When I think about my mom, I remember her to be very dedicated to whatever she did.  She made sure that us kids were happy, the house was spotless... and I mean SPOTLESS, and dinner on the table every night. She worked very hard and didn't get very much appreciation from us at the time. She was always being goofy and playful, I loved that about her. At times she would drive me nuts, but that was mom!

I am so afraid of forgetting her and the things that she did and said, so it is my mission to keep the memories alive. I am thankful to have her in a few videos so I can hear her voice and we have a lot of pictures of her, mostly of her being goofy! I miss her so much and am trying to figure out how to survive without my good friend, my phone buddy, my go-to person, my children's grandma.... my mom.

I miss you, mom. Thank you for being you and for raising me to be a good mom myself. Thank you for loving me unconditionally and for being so wonderful to Alivia. I will see you again some day and when that day comes, you better have the biggest hug waiting for me, because I sure could go for one right about now! I love you with all of my heart...until we meet again <3 Happy Mother's Day